Help Your Children Build Resilience

 

Decades of research into resilience science has uncovered 12 promotive and protective influences of resilience in children. These are: having a caring family; having close relationships and feeling a sense of belonging; effective and skillful parenting; motivation to adapt; problem solving skills; self regulation and emotion regulation; self efficacy and positive view of the self or identity; having hope, faith and optimism; belief that life has meaning; having routines and rituals; engagement at school; and connections with the community (from 'Resilience in Children: Developmental Perspectives'). 

How to Properly Practice Gratitude

There are 2 types of gratitude that we need to feel daily. One is to Allah and the other is towards people.

Allah says:

And We had certainly given Luqman wisdom [and said], "Be grateful to Allah ." And whoever is grateful is grateful for [the benefit of] himself. And whoever denies [His favor] - then indeed, Allah is Free of need and Praiseworthy. (Quran, Luqman 31:12)

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.” (Sunan Abī Dāwūd).

5 Ways to Build Resilience

How do we teach ourselves and our children to have patience and perseverance during trying times? How do we continue to struggle through and carry on without breaking and being uprooted? I think part of the solution to patience and perseverance is resilience and hope. Resilience is what will bounce us back up after being blown and pushed down and hope is what will carry us onward.

I was listening to a lecture and the presenter was telling us not to ask Allah for patience because when you do Allah will give you trials upon trials to cleanse your heart so that you will learn to be patient. Instead, we should ask Allah for a solution or cure to our dilemma. Subhanallah.

7 Ways to Practice Gratitude (+ Journal)

Gratitude is free, enjoyable, and effective. Below are 7 ways to get you started, of which gratitude journaling is one. Check out my gratitude journal and download the sample prompt page.

How To Practice Positive Parenting

You're tired of yelling at your children and you don't want to punish them all the time. There must be some way to raise them without resorting to being the mean parent. Well there is a parenting style that avoids punishing children and is much kinder and nurturing. It's called Positive Parenting.

Positive Parenting requires you to provide a positive environment, positive communications and positive discipline. See the chart below. For more on Positive Parenting read 'The Muslim Parent is a Positive Parent'.

Assume the Best from Your Child

In today's Revive Your Heart, chapter 4 talks about assumptions. This is assuming that other's have a bad intention towards you. 

O believers, avoid being excessively suspicious, for some suspicion is a sin. (Quran, Al Hujurat 49:12) 

Nouman Ali Khan explains that we must put great effort in getting away from thinking bad about others. Suspicion is something that is a natural companion to us, it will follow us so we must always try to push it away. Suspicion is something that we were unsure about but it becomes a certainty in our minds over time. This is the basic concept from the book.

To apply it to parenting...

I'm a Kind Parent Colouring Sheet

Free Affirmation Colouring Sheet Download Below

Colouring is a relaxing and de-stressing activity. As you colour in this page, these words will stay with you and help with your parenting. After you have finished colouring in then stick it on the wall to remind you to repeat them. When you repeat them often enough they will change your behaviour and the way you act towards your child, making parenting a more joyous part of your life.

Muslim Parenting Affirmations

Affirmations are positive self talks that you tell yourself daily to change the way you think, believe and act. It works like this: the more you say them, the more you believe them then the more you will act according to what you say. It's an upward spiral that will benefit you and your child. 

To improve your parenting, select one that you really like to work towards then say it to yourself constantly. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Allah made my child perfect and I love her the way she is.

My child is the coolness of my eyes and I am pleased with him.

Allah has blessed me with my child and I am grateful to Allah for her.

2 Tools to Help You Become The Best Parent

You are the best mother for your child. You know their personality, their strengths and weaknesses. You build upon their best qualities while help them to overcome their faults. You feel their pain and beam with pride with their achievements. You are the best mother for your child because you love them no matter what.

Sometimes, though, even the best of mothers doubt their own parenting when their children don’t listen and when you start to compare yourself with other mothers and your children to other children. Doubting your parenting will lead to despair and hack your relationship with your child. When this happens you need to tell yourself that you are the best mother for your child because Allah knows that you have the ability to do it well.

Allah says in the Qur’an: “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).