Monday, 11 December 2017

Tranquility in the Muslim Family

On the weekend my family and I went to a conference on Islam in Practice. The first talk was about Leadership in the Family Structure and Sheikh Yahyah Ibrahim talked about tranquility in the home. I will share it with you.

How do you establish tranquility in your home? Each of us is a leader. The husband is a leader of the family and the wife is a leader in charge of the household and children. So each one has a responsibility for establishing tranquility in the home.

Saturday, 2 December 2017

Book Review: The Conscious Parent and How it Relates to the Muslim Parent

Title: The Conscious Parent
Author: Shefali Tsabary
Publisher: Yellow Kite (or Namaste Publishing)
Recommended for: Parents

The Conscious Parent will change your perceptions of parenting. It takes you from looking at your child's behaviour as intentionally 'bad' to reflecting on how this behaviour manifested as a result of your own behaviour. In order words, what did you do or didn't do that caused your child to behave like that? So it's really about being aware of your own actions and how it affect your child. That is the book in a nutshell.

Of course there are more to it. The author goes into details of the different stages of child development and the challenges of each and what parents should be doing. There's also a chapter on how to shape your child's behaviour.

The author wrote this book from a spiritual-yoga perspective but I find that it has a lot in common with what Islam and Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, teach us.

Saturday, 25 November 2017

My Child is Not What I Want Him to Be

A child sits huddled in a corner of a trampoline play centre, silently crying because he doesn't want to jump on the huge trampolines or climb the rock wall or go through the ninja obstacle course. His father quietly talks to him from time to time, not forcing him but encouraging him. Suddenly the child yells out to someone sitting to his right, "I'm not chicken! You're chicken." From where I'm sitting I cannot see who it is. Please don't let it be the mother. Now he is openly crying. This child is not a young child. He is a young teenager.

It breaks my heart to see this being played in front of me. I tried not to look but it's hard to ignore the dejected figure sitting in the corner. I don't make judgements of the parents, for I assume it was an adult sitting in the shadows where other parents sit and watch their children - another child would have been playing. 

Parents do the best they can with what they know. We think we are helping our child to be fearless and courageous by providing experiences of risk or thrill taking situations. We think we are helping our child get better grades by booking numerous tuition classes. We think we're helping our child become sporty by enrolling them into different sporting activities. Parents do this with the best of intentions. We want our child to be better or become the best.

Sunday, 19 November 2017

Raise Children to Be Satisfied and Grateful

Continuing with this series based on Nouman Ali Khan's book 'Revive Your Heart', this post is about money and how you spend it (Chapter 7). Remember that the explanation and theme are taken from the book, I only expand on it where parenting is concerned.

Allah says in the Quran:
Give to the near kin his due, also to the needy and the wayfarer. Do not squander your wealth wastefully.
For those who squander wastefully are shaytan's brother's and shaytan is ever ungrateful to his Lord.
(Al-Isra 17:26-27)
 As parents, you want to give your children the best of everything: you dress them up in beautiful or smart outfits, you buy them the best and latest toys and new games, you take them to expensive theme parks every holiday. You constantly buy and lavish your children.