Tuesday, 20 June 2017

2 Tools to Help You Become The Best Parent


You are the best mother for your child. You know their personality, their strengths and weaknesses. You build upon their best qualities while help them to overcome their faults. You feel their pain and beam with pride with their achievements. You are the best mother for your child because you love them no matter what.

Sometimes, though, even the best of mothers doubt their own parenting when their children don’t listen and when you start to compare yourself with other mothers and your children to other children. Doubting your parenting will lead to despair and hack your relationship with your child. When this happens you need to tell yourself that you are the best mother for your child because Allah knows that you have the ability to do it well.

Allah says in the Qur’an: “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).

Friday, 16 June 2017

Strengthen Family Bonds during Ramadan


Ramadan is a time to deepen your spiritual awareness but it can also be a time to strengthen family bonds. Spending family time praying together and reading Qur’an together can have a strengthening effect. 

Any time is a good time for family togetherness but, specifically, during Ramadan you have four blocks of time that you could use.

Suhoor

There is much blessing at this time. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Eat suhoor for in suhoor there is blessing.” [Reported in al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Friday, 9 June 2017

7 Ways to Remain Sane When Parenting Gets Tough


Parenting is not always smooth sailing. There are times when nothing you do seems to be going well. Your children don't listen to you, they answer back, they're uncooperative, they whine, they throw tantrums, they fight each other...on and on it goes.

When this happens to you and you feel overwhelmed, stressed and low, do one of a few of the following:

1. Remind yourself that Allah does not give you what you cannot bear.

Sunday, 4 June 2017

How to Stop Yelling and Respond to Your Child's Needs



This was an article for a talk that I gave about ten years ago when my youngest was two years old - how fast time goes by! Subhanallah, some of the things about my children I had forgotten. If your children are young, enjoy them at that age. Be with them and nurture them and your relationship. One way to nurture is to respond to your children without screaming.

When I was asked to talk about this topic I was a bit reluctant. If I was approached several years earlier I would have been glad to share my experiences. My first child had an easy temperament. He would stop acting up if I frowned and turned away from him. We had a close relationship and he always wanted to please me. I constantly praised him for good behaviour, I taught him empathy and rules to follow. These are some of the methods that I used to guide my son’s behaviour. I did not have to shout.

Does this sound too perfect to be real? I didn’t think so. I thought it was easy and anyone could do it with their child.

Saturday, 3 June 2017

Do Not Discipline While Angry


On a weekend of December 2011, I attended the 'Heart Therapy' course. One of the diseases of the heart is anger. Everyone feels anger but it is the excessive anger and what we do while in the state of anger that is the danger.

As parents we come across feelings of anger when our children do not listen to us or misbehaves. What is our immediate reaction to our children's disobedience? Do we strike them? Do we yell and scream at them? Do we punish them? Do we ground them? These are probably the most common reactions. However, the scholars have advised us not to discipline a child when we are in a state of anger.